Family Problems
by Exile Wrath
Summary: A collection of seasonal slightly related oneshots based on Allen's life. Contains Sibling!AllenOC, some Yullen, some Laven, some Allena, depending on chapter. CrossxAnita. Rated for cussing. New chapter: Valentine's Day
1. Grades

**Exile Wrath: Well, hi? Yeah, yeah, I'm supposed to update ****The Original 5 Piece Exorcist****, but this fic was originally my Health homework. We were supposed to write a story about a family dealing with a problem, so this fic just inserted itself in my ideabox. Please read and review! And BTW, it's a ONESHOT.**

**Summary: What happens when Allen gets a letter from his college about bad grades? 2 words: Angry Cross**

**Pairing: Sibling!ReixAllen, Anita x Cross**

**Rated: K+**

"Erm…Allen, are you okay?" 15-year-old Reikyuu Hitoride asked anxiously. Her brother was currently in a _very _depressed mood, and Timcampy, their Golden Retriever puppy, was being hugged to death by the male. The white-haired boy, Allen, looked up from his despondent position on his bed and held up a letter with an official-looking seal at the corner. Rei picked it up and read it, gasping in shock when she got to the end. This is what it said:

_Dear Guardian(s) of Allen Walker,_

_We are extremely sorry to notify you that your son, Allen Walker, currently has a 73% in his Microbiology class. As he is a scholarship student, this grade is unacceptable and he will be dropped from the Biotech program if he does not raise it to an at least 87%. There are multiple tutoring opportunities available after classes, and he may be able to regain credit if he attends them. Allen Walker has until the end of the trimester to complete the requirements._

_Sincerely,_

_Headmaster of Black Order Academy, _

_Malcolm C. Leverrier_

After reading the letter, Rei looked up at her brother with eyes full of fear and pity. "Look, bro. Cross isn't going to kill you, so don't freak out. I mean-" She was abruptly cut off by the door to the room being violently kicked open by their foster father, Cross Marian, and right behind him, their foster mother Anita Marian. They were standing in the doorway, and, as if on cue, they both held up a paper identical to the one she had just examined. Both siblings and the dog gulped nervously and looked at each other. Rei slowly began to edge towards the window as their parents approached Allen slowly and menacingly. The moment Rei unbolted the window, her brother grabbed a nearby backpack and Timcampy, jumping out of the 2nd-story room and into a packing-peanut filled Dumpster below, which had been ready for the express purpose of making a quick getaway in case Cross had ever gotten in one of his moods. 14 feet above them, they could hear Cross listing off expletives that would have made an Alcatraz prisoner wince.

Rei blinked at the white-haired male beside her, who was digging through several layers of peanuts to retrieve a large pack identical to his, and handed it to her. She ruffled her hair in distaste, and put the bag on. "So where to now?" she asked curiously. Allen sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"I'm afraid…we'll have to ask BaKanda for help…" he muttered softly. Rei froze in shock, staring incredulously at her brother, who began walking to what the neighborhood had dubbed "The Hell House.", AKA, Kanda Yuu's home.

*Kanda's Home*

Allen tapped lightly on the door of the "Hell House", ignoring the pitying stares neighbors were giving him and his sister. Kanda's house was frequently referred to as "The Hell House" because the owner had a very short temper and constantly carried Mugen, his katana, around his person 24/7. Luckily for them, although Kanda would never admit it, they were friends with him, so they were completely safe…as Allen hoped.

The door flew open, and Allen shut his eyes in a brief moment of terror. He opened them to see a certain familiar blade at his throat…again. The blue haired swordsman quickly sheathed Mugen. "Che. I should've known it was you, Moyashi. What do you want?" He asked quickly. Allen gulped and proceeded to explain the whole situation, starting with the letter…

*2 hours later*

"Eat up, you guys." Kanda snarled ungraciously, although the effect was rather lost by the fact he was serving them soba. "And then talk out your problems. I can't have Moyashi running to my house out of fear every single week." He said this while slamming steaming hot bowls of soba in front of Anita and Cross, who had caught up to his friends 20 minutes ago. In order to prevent Cross from going ballistic, he had invited them in for dinner (with Rei cleaning his room in the meantime as payment) Anita stared at the bowl of Japanese soba in front of her and then hesitatingly began eating. Cross gave Kanda a suspicious glare and then proceeded to greedily gobble up the noodles. Allen had already finished his soba. When the three finished eating, Rei popped her head from the doorway.

"Is it safe now?" She asked impertinently. Cross threw his chopsticks at her, which she quickly caught midair and threw into the sink nearby. Rei went over to the dinner table the other 4 sat at and plopped herself in a chair. "So, we need to TALK this out. No guns, dad." Cross glared at his daughter and then tossed Judgment, his gun, at her. "So the issue is Allen's grade. Kanda's here to prevent any fights. Now talk." She finished. Allen gulped and began his monologue.

"So…Mom, Dad. I got a 73% in my Microbiology class right now…and Leverrier will be sure to drop me out of the Biotech program if I don't raise it to 87% by the end of the trimester. And since I want to go into medicine, like Mana wanted me to, I'll raise my grade so I can stay in the program. Don't worry about me, okay? I'm motivating myself…" He said, trailing off at Anita's enraged face.

"HOW can you say to not worry about you? It's parental instinct to worry about their children, blood or not! You, young man, is going to have Rei over there tutor you! No ifs, ands, or buts. So, it's either have Rei tutor you or go the afterschool tutoring. Got that?" She snapped, making Allen wince. Cross snorted at the mini-rant, deciding to put his two bits in.

"So, what's it going to be, fool?" He asked. Allen winced and gulped, opening his mouth to speak, but being verbally run over by Reikyuu when he started talking.

"Mom, Dad. I think that if Allen didn't have to spend so much time interning at the hospital-" she paused to glare at Cross, "He wouldn't be in this situation. So, why not cut down his intern time there, and then watch the effects?" Kanda, who had appeared half-asleep, nodded in agreement, inciting Cross to begin listing more expletives and getting quickly cut off by a rolled-up newspaper in Anita's hand. Allen allowed himself a quick sigh of relief.

"Is that settled now?" Kanda grumbled, standing up and stretching. "Since the Moyashi ("MY NAME'S ALLEN, BAKANDA!" Allen inserted.) wants to be a doctor so badly, I think it's up to him whether to stay in the Biotech program or not. So technically, his grades aren't really your fault. But, have you noticed his eyes? They're bloodshot. Now out of my house!" The family of four was promptly tossed outside by the irate Japanese man.

Anita stood up and dusted herself off, then rushed over to examine Allen's eyes. Unfortunately, Kanda had been correct, and Allen's eyes were visibly rather pinkish. She sighed.

"I'll cut down your intern hours, okay? So get some sleep and study properly." She pronounced with finality. Allen and Rei exchanged glances. Their family might have been rather dysfunctional, but they could get over their problems in less than a year.

_Owari_


	2. Siblings

**Exile Wrath: *bangs head* THAT was only supposed to be an ONESHOT. Now it's a friggin' COLLECTION!**

**Rei: Don't mind her; she's just mad at some plot bunnies. One of them keeps growing.**

**Summary: In the Walker "family", Anita decides to adopt an orphan, without telling Cross, of course. This is how Rei entered the Walker family. **

**Allen and Rei are 9. Lenalee's 10. (Kanda and Lavi don't appear in this chapter)**

Siblings

"Who's the brat, Anita?" Cross Marian snarled as he walked in the front door. "Haven't seen this runt before." Said child stared up at the menacing redhead empty, emotionless eyes. "Don't give me that attitude, kid!" Before he could slap it, however, Anita grabbed Cross back and knocked him to the floor, hands on her hips.

"Cross…" She warned him. "Thua's parents were two of my good friends, and they died last week. She'll now be living with us. I've already signed the adoption papers, so no hitting, cursing, an ABSOLUTELY NO being a general bad influence, or no sex for a week. Understand?" Cross grumbled at the last part and the child, deciding she didn't like the loud redhead, kicked his shin and stared up defiantly once again.

"I hate brats. But what are you going to tell Allen?" He asked while going up the stairs. Anita shrugged.

"They should get along."

When 10-year-old Allen Walker ran to his home after school, he was greeted by the scene of a little Asian girl –probably no older than him- punching the oak in his front yard. "Hey!" He yelled. The girl gave no response except to punch the tree even harder. Allen's eyes widened at the sight of blood on the tree bark, and even from this distance he could see that her knuckles were bloodied from the rough bark. "Stop that! You're bleeding!"

"So? I don't care." She said. "Dad said that if I do this, my hands will get tougher and I won't feel pain anymore." Another punch.

"Where's your dad?" He asked curiously.

"In the ground they put daddy and mommy in a big wooden bed that they closed. And then my new mom covered my eyes and said I couldn't watch anymore. But I asked Kaen and he told me." She said sullenly, punching the tree several more times during this monologue.

"Are they dead?" Allen asked. He hadn't seen anyone die before, except Mana, of course.

"No." She answered flatly. "They're supposed to sleep forever. New mom told me that too." She continued to hit the tree with her small fists.

"Who's your new mommy, then?" Allen tried. She pointed at his house.

"The pretty lady that lives in there." She stated bluntly. "But I don't like my new Dad. He's mean and smells like the wine at church." Allen's eyes widened at the familiar description as he ran into his house.

"MOM! Who is she?" He asked Anita, who was busy in the kitchen making a snack for him. She straightened up from the oven and dusted off her hands.

"Who's who?" She asked. "And what did I tell you to say whenever you came home?"

"I'm home!" He said to appease her. "And who's the girl in the yard? She's all bloody!" At this Anita dropped the mixing bowl that was supposed to go in the sink. Allen winced at the raucous sound, and his adopted mom stormed out to the yard.

"THUA NGUYEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he heard her yell, and the door banged open from Anita's kick. "Do you want to end up in the hospital? Answer me, young lady!" Thua just stared back with blank eyes at the Chinese woman. "Well?"

"Daddy said that if I punch something like a tree or a rock, my hands will get tougher and I won't feel the pain anymore. And that the more I hit it, the sooner the pain will stop." She answered simply. "Daddy's hands were rough on the knuckles too." Anita thought twice of reprimanding Cross for telling the child this, but remembered that Thua's deceased father had been a martial arts practitioner.

"Thua, where does it hurt?" She asked, calming herself and crouching down to face the child. Thua thought for a moment, and pointed to her eyes and chest.

"My eyes burn and my chest hurt. Will mom and dad ever wake up?" Anita stood up, wiping away tears that had sprung in her eyes. Allen understood what had happened, and hugged his new little sister.

"I'm so sorry." Anita whispered in her ear, joining in the little huddle. Thua stood still, accepting the hugs.

"When am I going home?" She then asked.

"This is your new home."

"Dad always said that if I ever get a new home I should get a new name, too." She remarked. "Can I do that too?"

"Mom, who was her dad?" Allen whispered into Anita's ear.

She straightened up and picked up the fallen mixing bowl. "Her dad was refugee from the Vietnam War 40 years ago. My family sponsored them to come here, and he was only 16 at the time. They, like many, were running from that war."

"Kill the Communists." Thua interrupted, receiving alarmed looks from Anita and Allen. "What? That's what grandpa used to say." Anita coughed nervously and moved on.

"Anyway, her grandpa was a captain in the military until he was discharged due to injury, so as a boy, her dad and the other children traveled with the army, eating the soldier's food, acting as errand runners and messengers, and some of the boys participated in the martial art training for the soldiers, which was for them to be able to take down opponents if they ever lost their weapons. Her dad was one of them." Allen absorbed this information quietly. "They would hit trees or rocks to toughen their fists. I suppose that her father taught her some fighting."

"Anita, what should I call you?" Thua asked abruptly, making Anita start. She sighed.

"Can you call me mom?" the woman asked. Thua pondered for a moment and shook her head. "Why not?"

"You aren't my mom." Anita came close to facepalming right there and then. "So I'll call you Mother."

"Is there any difference?" Anita asked exasperatedly.

"Yes. Yes there is."

"She has zero emotions." Cross said as he entered the room. "So, kid, you wanted a new name?" Thua looked up at him, startled. "You did know that your name means "lost" in your native tongue, right?" She shook her head.

"I did not know that." She said solemnly. Cross rolled his eyes.

"Like I said. This runt has no emotions. That's it, your name is Rei from now on." With this he strode out of the kitchen to his bedroom.

"IT'S RYUUKEI!" The girl yelled for him to hear, and then turned back to Anita and Allen. "I'm an Exile...to my own emotions."

Allen shrugged. "Whatever. But you're not an Exile to us, Rei."

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><p><strong>Exile: *staring at plotbunny* Where did YOU come from?<strong>

**Plotbunny: your mind and boredom.**

**Review?**


	3. Valentine's Day

**Exile: I know that this is really late TT. TT it's just that FFnet has been not cooperating with me ATM.**

**This is crack, pure crack based on my experiences as a crossdressing girl. WARNING: YULLEN.**

* * *

><p><span>Valentine's Day<span>

"I hate Valentine's Day." Allen lamented to Rei, who was used to hearing it every year, year after year. Allen never specified why he, Kanda, and Lavi hated Valentine's Day; all Rei knew was that they always tried to weasel out of going to school during the week of Valentine's Day. Rei herself really didn't know why Valentine's Day was so horrible: I mean, she got free candies from everyone, right?

That outlook changed the year that Valentine's Day was on Wednesday.

"Allen, can I borrow some of your clothes?" Rei begged her brother. Anita was off on a trip, and no one, save Anita, actually knew how to use the washing machine. Consequently, the T-shirt-and-jeans girl was out of clothes to wear, and Rei really didn't see the difference between men's and women's wear. "Allen just looked at her as if she was insane. "Please? I have nothing to wear, and I'm never going to touch those skirts and dresses that Anita bought me. And it's your fault for dropping food in my dresser by accident."

"Are you serious, Rei?" Allen glared at his adopted sister. With Valentine's Day on that Wednesday, the white-haired boy's mood worsened with every passing hour. "You'd rather look like a guy than look like a girl?"

"Yep!" was her prompt reply, and Allen tossed some random articles of clothing at her. "Thanks, I'll run to school!" When his bedroom door slammed shut, Allen sighed and went back to changing, mentally ranting about the horridness of Valentine's Day. A honk outside alerted him to Kanda and Lavi already waiting outside. Running downstairs, Allen grabbed a sandwich from the refrigerator and dashed out of the door, getting himself in Kanda's car in time before the Japanese man drove off.

"So what are we going to do this year?" Lavi asked.

"Che. Ask Moyashi."

"It's Allen, BaKanda! Anyway, I sort of came with a plan, but…"

"But what?" the redhead inquired sarcastically. "Trick Rei into dressing like a guy and bring her to school so she diverts the attention?" Allen's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Err, yeah. How did you know?" Allen replied, dumbfounded. There was no other noise than the screech of tire wheels as Lavi and Kanda digested Allen's "plan"

"Che. Idiot Moyashi." Kanda snarled when he recovered his voice. "Any other ideas?"

"Oh! I know, Yuu!" Lavi said excitedly, hopping up and down in his seat. "Why don't we pretend that we have a crush on Moyashi, and spend the whole week chasing each other away from him? That way our fangirls will give up cos' they think we're gay!"

"That's even worse than my plan." Allen growled, obviously peeved. "No way in hell-"

"Let's do it. Two to one, Moyashi, you lose." Kanda butted in, much to the other's shock.

"Wait, what? NOOOOOOO!" was the scream that resounded from the car.

~5 minutes later~

"Huh? What's with the fangirl horde?" Lavi panicked, eyes bulging out at the crowd in front of the Innocence Academy's gates. Zooming in on them more, the trio saw that every single girl held either chocolate or an envelope, most holding both. "ACK! It's not even Valentine's!"

"What now?" Kanda snapped.

"…I vote for waiting for Rei to show up at the school gates." Allen suggested. "She's wearing guy's clothes today. I made sure of it." His aura darkened as he cackled evilly, earning horrified looks from his cohorts.

"Fine. But if nothing happens…"

"I know, BaKanda. If it doesn't work then we'll all have to go homo." Allen snapped.

"Wait, wait, guys, look! Something's happening!" Lavi said excitedly.

Rei was confused. Utterly confused. "What's with these clothes he gave me?" she muttered. "The shirt and the tank fit perfectly, but these pants are a lot different from ones that I'm used to." Ryuukei was currently clad in Allen's black, white, and blue plaid shirt, with black jeans and a grey tank underneath the shirt, with a black runners jacket on top of everything. When she looked closely at the pile of stuff he had given her, she picked up a hair tie that looked like Kanda's. "How nice." Tying her short hair into its usual small ponytail at the base of her neck, Rei glanced at the time and pulled on her favorite gloves (a love for wearing gloves was one of the few things that she and her brother shared) and scrambled out the house and ran her various shortcuts to school in record time. "Heck, he even dropped food in my shoes! His shoes are bulky!" she complained under her breath, getting the chains that ran through Allen's belt loops untangled from the bush they were stuck on. Turning the corner, Rei spotted her high school: Innocence Academy.

"Who is that guy?" was the whisper that ran through the crowd in front of the gates. They were all girls aspiring to get their confessions and chocolates to the school idols: Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu, and Lavi Bookman, also considered the hottest guys in the whole town of Rose Cross. However, rounding the corner with a determined expression was a guy that no one recognized. A few screams broke out at the sight of the "male": short black hair, stylish clothes, and he was obviously athletic as he ran through the crowd, ducking and dodging girls, and consistently apologizing for any collisions, "I'm sorry, miss. Excuse me, people! 'Scuse me~".

"I told you it would work." Allen said triumphantly. "I made sure to buy some new clothes yesterday, and I gave them to Rei as an "apology" for ruining her clothes by accident." The three got out of the car with relieved expressions. Rei had successfully done her job, as over three fourths of the crowd had departed to give chase to the mysterious "guy". Now all they had to deal with was a few girls each. However, these were the most persistent of the bunch. A crooked smile came over Kanda as he eyed his current prey. The moment the trio had separated and entered the school gates, they broke up to go to their respective classes. The moment a girl dressed like a slut wanting to get laid bounced near him, Kanda changed courses for his Moyashi.

Taking Allen by surprise, the white-haired boy found himself pinned to the wall, and Kanda's skillful tongue probing his mouth, running over his teeth and twisting with his own tongue. Allen moaned rather responsively, and in a moment he shoved Kanda away, his face a bright shade of red. "What the hell was that for? I'm not gay!"

Kanda's smile grew even wider, if that was possible. "Are you sure? You were yesterday." he replied, pulling his uke into another crushing kiss. "And your limp proves so."

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><p><strong>Exile: I own nothing but Rei. She's my recurring OC.<strong>


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